Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
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