so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
