My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
