"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.