Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?

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(818): ...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!? http://tfl.nu/yk7e

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(416): View more from Ontario

we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance

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(416): we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance http://tfl.nu/wkwu

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.

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(724): You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake. http://tfl.nu/kf3k

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(303): View more from Colorado

other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do

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(303): other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do http://tfl.nu/c5r9

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(407): View more from Florida

We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."

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(407): We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression." http://tfl.nu/hom0

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(804): View more from Virginia

I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.

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(804): I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you. http://tfl.nu/q9i5

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(407): View more from Florida

Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.

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(407): Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30. http://tfl.nu/fgkn

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies

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(902): Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years. (1-902): Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies http://tfl.nu/48gx

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(206): View more from Washington

Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.

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(206): Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended. http://tfl.nu/3jtg

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!

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(724): If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF! http://tfl.nu/xzr6

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(254): View more from Texas

He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him

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(254): He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him http://tfl.nu/fs9i

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(201): View more from New Jersey

For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao

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(201): For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao http://tfl.nu/eyan

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...

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(+44): I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt... http://tfl.nu/1ly3

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(229): View more from Georgia

I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am

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(229): I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am http://tfl.nu/ozx4

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(707): View more from California

DON'T WEAR PANTS.

(707): View more from California

I REPEAT.

(707): View more from California

DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.

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(707): DON'T WEAR PANTS. (707): I REPEAT. (707): DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS. http://tfl.nu/9ogh

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