Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
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I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
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man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this