Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..

(609): View more from New Jersey

AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?! (267): This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room.. (609): AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?! http://tfl.nu/dtle

Replies (37) Good night (879) Bad night (3701)
Favorite
(209): View more from California

is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?

(1-209): View more from California

yes...dear jesus what did you do?

(209): View more from California

bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(209): is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers? (1-209): yes...dear jesus what did you do? (209): bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off. http://tfl.nu/27hf

Replies (56) Good night (4972) Bad night (979)
Favorite
(781): View more from Massachusetts

Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(781): Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet http://tfl.nu/haby

Replies (4) Good night (691) Bad night (2788)
Favorite
(405): View more from Oklahoma

We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(405): We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed. http://tfl.nu/cgfh

Replies (40) Good night (6445) Bad night (622)
Favorite
(410): View more from Maryland

I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(410): I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/d8vw

Replies (19) Good night (3650) Bad night (898)
Favorite
(816): View more from Missouri

you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(816): you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too http://tfl.nu/2c4t

Replies (8) Good night (1164) Bad night (3257)
Favorite
(269): View more from Michigan

im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(269): im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower http://tfl.nu/s38n

Replies (15) Good night (3164) Bad night (824)
Favorite
(850): View more from Florida

it's great music for shaving your balls

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(850): it's great music for shaving your balls http://tfl.nu/etrw

Replies (25) Good night (3964) Bad night (1858)
Favorite
(678): View more from Georgia

I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(678): I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy http://tfl.nu/r472

Replies (11) Good night (4583) Bad night (932)
Favorite
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(484): 5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness http://tfl.nu/vhep

Replies (6) Good night (1095) Bad night (3501)
Favorite
(716): View more from New York

I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(716): I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle? http://tfl.nu/vxb0

Replies (15) Good night (1195) Bad night (3578)
Favorite
(713): View more from Texas

He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(713): He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that. http://tfl.nu/cec8

Replies (6) Good night (796) Bad night (1575)
Favorite
(432): View more from Texas

3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.

(1-432): View more from Texas

Erry day erry day!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(432): 3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life. (1-432): Erry day erry day! http://tfl.nu/wghw

Replies (22) Good night (2499) Bad night (1181)
Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces. http://tfl.nu/0f9r

Replies (0) Good night (604) Bad night (444)
Favorite
(865): View more from Tennessee

to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(865): to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger. http://tfl.nu/z4fx

Replies (2) Good night (1011) Bad night (387)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard