Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
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I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
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My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.