Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages http://tfl.nu/95a0
  Replies (44) Good night (5990) Bad night (1284)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation http://tfl.nu/c4tn
  Replies (37) Good night (1293) Bad night (4359)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day http://tfl.nu/wkei
  Replies (13) Good night (4284) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?

  (914): View more from New York

  you mean faeutihaers?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night? (914): you mean faeutihaers? http://tfl.nu/mcba
  Replies (34) Good night (10651) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were. http://tfl.nu/ckqe
  Replies (53) Good night (1779) Bad night (7039)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts. http://tfl.nu/j2dd
  Replies (3) Good night (913) Bad night (2523)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us? http://tfl.nu/gp4k
  Replies (5) Good night (4041) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier. http://tfl.nu/oxri
  Replies (5) Good night (2288) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates. http://tfl.nu/w536
  Replies (8) Good night (2697) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight. http://tfl.nu/mlx0
  Replies (11) Good night (1956) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this. http://tfl.nu/0jj8
  Replies (8) Good night (824) Bad night (1634)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes http://tfl.nu/i59t
  Replies (0) Good night (383) Bad night (198)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick http://tfl.nu/pr7p
  Replies (6) Good night (230) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment. http://tfl.nu/t8v8
  Replies (2) Good night (655) Bad night (264)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words. http://tfl.nu/h8c9
  Replies (1) Good night (571) Bad night (176)

Randomize