Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..