Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later. http://tfl.nu/06o9
  Replies (42) Good night (6033) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy. http://tfl.nu/q0bl
  Replies (8) Good night (3055) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out http://tfl.nu/uo3s
  Replies (14) Good night (5225) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob. http://tfl.nu/6ugt
  Replies (56) Good night (8965) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public http://tfl.nu/ux7y
  Replies (9) Good night (999) Bad night (4302)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/7nbz
  Replies (28) Good night (5208) Bad night (2315)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator? http://tfl.nu/y95u
  Replies (36) Good night (6736) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative http://tfl.nu/aljj
  Replies (6) Good night (5525) Bad night (1148)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  they call him Oral-B. enough said

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): they call him Oral-B. enough said http://tfl.nu/vhzo
  Replies (12) Good night (3063) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line? http://tfl.nu/0ivn
  Replies (10) Good night (898) Bad night (1253)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): 'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman http://tfl.nu/trz5
  Replies (2) Good night (853) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away. http://tfl.nu/5and
  Replies (0) Good night (697) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore.. http://tfl.nu/1hum
  Replies (2) Good night (659) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me. http://tfl.nu/yd6z
  Replies (0) Good night (674) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight http://tfl.nu/4k57
  Replies (1) Good night (712) Bad night (464)

Randomize