Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
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They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate