well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize