im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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