he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
