What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize