Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
