I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
