just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
