the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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