i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
