Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
