Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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