Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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