I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
