SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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