A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
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Houston, we have a squirter
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
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Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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