So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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