I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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