pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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