thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
