i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
