I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
