Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
