I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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