3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
