Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
