How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
