I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
