She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
