Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
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Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
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Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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