I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
