Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
