Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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