I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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