I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You smell like a Billy Joel song
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
