return my video game
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
