I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
