With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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