thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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