I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
