made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
