Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
