friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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