We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
