what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
