also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I wear drunk well.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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