The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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