can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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