I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
