I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
