the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
