worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
