he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
