Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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