I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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