You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
