Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
