My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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