he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
